Friends, Lovers, Family & Secrets
by DiNozzo and Gibbs addict
Summary: Who is Josie & what's the connection between her, the boy she has with her & Tony? Warning: Although this story is about cancer, it won't be going into too much detail. If you find it too difficult a subject, please do not read! For me it's paying tribute to all those special people in my life who I've lost to this dreadful diseasel
1. Chapter 1

**Friends , Lovers, Family & Secrets.**

 **Chapter 1.**

For the last couple of years or so Tony had been keeping a very big secret from the rest of the team at NCIS; the secret he was keeping, was that he'd got a nine nearly ten year old son. He'd known about him since he was seven & they had a really great relationship.

The reason why he'd found out about his son was because sadly Stephen's mother & her husband had been killed in a car crash & the woman who was Stephen's godmother & guardian had decided that because of the remaining family members not wanting to have anything to do with him; his father should have the chance of getting to know his son. Stephen's mother had been Jeanne Benoit, & she had conceived him on the final time she & Tony had slept together; before all hell had broken loose over Tony being undercover & it being down to her father. She'd gone to Africa to try & forget things; which is how she & Josie had met & became friends. They were so close that Josie had stood by her & helped her when she found out that she was pregnant.

When he & Josie met for the first time, so she could tell him the news; they met in a local coffee shop. Because of not knowing what this unknown woman who'd written to him asking for the meeting wanted; he was feeling quite nervous, but as he walked into the shop & saw she looked about as nervous as he was, he somehow knew he could trust her. Despite this even though he knew Stephen was his son; because she'd asked him if he wanted a DNA test, he went ahead & still got it done.

Following the test; because of Josie & Stephen living in LA, he got to see Stephen as much as he could; & they soon formed a really great relationship. He & Josie also ended up having a great relationship as well; even if they did end up being just friends. In many ways it also surprised him with the way he did just want to be friends, & not just jump into bed with her. Even though on a couple of occasions when she was in a relationship, & he found feelings of jealousy creeping in.

In the end though he was glad that they just had the friendship; because he ended up being her real rock, because as a relationship she was in broke down, & one in which some feelings of jealousy had crept in. As he put those feelings aside; he helped her to not only end things, but when the ex had turned into a bit of a stalker, he helped her with it all. On her own following everything with the stalker she started to feel uncomfortable, so decided that she & Stephen should move to DC & be closer to Tony so that he & Stephen could have a better father/son relationship, but also they'd get the chance of seeing each other more often. So in the next lot of school holidays instead of it being just father & son on their own she also joined them, so that she could start on an apartment/house search. In the end she found one just down the road from Tony's one. She did manage to get it & following the move it managed to cement a great relationship between them all.

As the relationships between them all got stronger they started spending more & more time together at each other's apartment; & sometimes even though he knew Stephen would be in bed, he still went to see Josie; & they'd end up cuddled up together on the sofa watching movies.

One day when Tony & Stephen were having a father & son night. As Stephen was being quite quiet; & thinking it was possibly something wrong at school, so he says to him

"Is everything ok?" Stephen replies in not a very convincing way

"It's fine dad." Tony replies

"Are you sure? As you have been fairly quiet, & you know you can tell me anything." He says

"I know I can, but I don't think you can help with this." Tony replies

"I'm worried about mum, I think she might not be very well, & I don't think she's been to see a doctor." Tony says

"How do you mean not very well?" He replies worryingly

"She's tried to pretend that she's eating properly, but I can tell that she's not; & I think she's been feeling sick, as I've heard her be sick a few times. I've also come home to find her lying on the sofa looking like she might be in pain. I'm scared that she might have something really bad wrong, & I don't want to lose another mum." Tony tries to reassure him by saying

"I promise you I'll have a talk with her & see if I can find something out, I know it's hard not to worry; but try not too. If you want to talk at anytime you can; & I don't care if it's on the phone or if you come over. As long as you tell you're mum you're coming & that it's not in the early hours or something." He replies

"I promise I won't come without telling mum first." Tony then says

"Ok, go & get your stuff & I'll take you home; & see if I can talk too her."

When they get back to the apartment they find her lying on the sofa cuddling a hot water bottle; because she's in pain once again, he sends Stephen off, takes his jacket off, before sitting on the floor with her, he then says

"Tell me the truth, how long has this been going on for? I know you've not been feeling very well at times; as I've seen it in you're face. Someone else has also seen it, & he's told me tonight that he's scared he's going to lose you like he did his mother." She replies

"It's been a few weeks, but I'm scared what it could be as well; even if I know that I should get things checked." He asks

"You're thinking the worst because you're a doctor aren't you, or is it something else?" She answers

"Some of it is because I'm a doctor & my mind goes towards the worst; but my mum had the same sort of symptoms when she had cancer." He pleads with her

"Please promise me you'll go to the doctor's, you need to get checked out; whatever happens I will be here for you. & I'm not just asking you because of Stephen, because I also care for you very much as well."

"I promise you I will try & go." He then gets up off the floor, gives her a hug, as well as kissing the top of her head & then he leaves.

A few days later she does finally go to the doctor's, & she has some tests done. The next day she gets a call to go & collect them. It is bad news though & she does have cancer. After finding out the news she gets through the rest of the afternoon in a bit of a dreamworld, in between bouts of crying. When she picks Stephen up from school, she gives him some food & makes sure he gets his homework done; she then has another bout of crying, so she disappears until she gets settled. She then decides that she should tell Tony the truth, so both she & Stephen head for his apartment, but when they get there she realizes that she forgot to pick up her keys. So on the quiet while they're there Stephen calls Tony; who's still at the Navy Yard catching up with paperwork, as Tony answers the phone, he says

"Hey, what is it?" Stephen replies

"Mum forgot to pick up the apartment keys, so we're outside waiting for you. Dad I'm worried; she's been crying & is trying to hide it." Tony replies urgently

"Ok, I'll be right there." He then closes the file he's been working on & puts it away. After that he picks up his stuff & goes running out.

When he got back to the apartment he finds Josie sitting on the floor with her head on her knees & Stephen standing by the front door. He then gets the keys out & opens the door, as he puts his kit bag down & chucks the keys into a bowl on the side, he tells Stephen to go to his room; while he talks too her. He then goes back out to her, picks her up, carries her into the apartment & puts her gently down on the sofa; as the tears come again he hugs her until she settles once again. Once she's done so he says

"So what is all this about?" She quietly replies

"I finally went to the doctor's, I got the results from the tests back today. I've got ovarian cancer." He swallows hard & tries to his own emotions as he replies

"I'm sorry, what's going to happen?" She says

"I've got to have an operation to remove the cancer, then it will be chemotherapy & radiotherapy. I've got to go back tomorrow to get things sorted out." He says

"Look at me." & he taps her lightly under the chin to make her look at him & he then carries on saying

"I promise that I will be here for you, & I will go to the hospital with you. In a while I will take Stephen to yours to get some stuff for you both for a few days; then after that we will either stay here or go back to yours; as I don't want you too go through all this on your own; & I want too be here for the both of you. You can also be here or at yours for as long as you want me too be." She quietly replies

"Thank you."

"Ok, I'm going to go & freshen up as well as change; I'll then take Stephen to your stuff. When I get back I'll sort us out something too eat, so you can have a rest while we're gone." She then asks

"What about Stephen? I've not told him anything yet." He answers

"I promise I will tell him something tomorrow, once we know a bit more." After a couple of minutes silence she says

"Just promise me another couple of things." He asks

"What is it?" She answers

"The first is can we please pretend you're my partner at the hospital? Because otherwise they won't let you come in with me if you come in with me & things. Not only that I'm scared that if they think I'm also a single mother; they'll try & get the authorities involved, & with Stephen having to go through all of this anyway I don't want them to get involved with us & add to his pressure." He replies

"I promise you I will do it, so that I can be here for the both of you, & I will make sure that everything's ok for him as well; so what's the other thing?" She answers slightly sadly

"I don't want to think like this, but if anything does happen too me; please promise me you will look after him well for both me & his mother." As he replies while struggling with his emotions

"I promise you I will do, but I also promise you that nothing bad is going to happen too you; we will fight this together. Now I'm going to go & get freshend up, can I get you anything before I go?" She replies

"I'm ok, thanks Tony." He gets up to go, as he does so he squeezes her hand; then he heads to the bathroom. When he gets in there he locks the door; then turns round & slides his back down it until he's sitting on the floor, & he finally breaks down in tears.

That night everyone is a bit subdued & quiet, even Josie ends up going to bed early, Tony also goes to be there with her; so she knows he's there. Although once he knows she's fast asleep he goes & checks on Stephen & finds he's fast asleep as well. As he's starting to find that he needs some air to get his head straight, as well as needing someone to talk too. So he goes & picks his keys up & heads out.

In the end he ends up at Gibbs; he goes in & finds him in the basement. While trying to work out what he wants to say to Gibbs; he at first stays quiet. So Gibbs gives him a bourbon; then after having a sip Gibbs says

"Spit it out DiNozzo, what's up?" Tony replies

"I may need to take some personal time off, starting from tomorrow. I've been keeping a secret for a few years now from everyone. I have a son." Gibbs replies

"Who with?"

"His name is Stephen; & he was conceived the last night that me & Jeanne slept together before everything hit the fan. She didn't want me to know about him, but a few years ago she & her husband were killed in a car crash. Stephen was still here in America as he was staying with his godmother; because the accident happened in Africa. She was the one that decided I should know about him, but she did later find a letter from Jeanne saying that I should know the truth. Even though I did believe Josie with the news; I still had a DNA test to check it; & he is mine. Until a couple of years or so ago they lived in LA. I helped her with some problems she was having with an ex, & they decided to move here. For a little while I'd noticed she's not been feeling well; & finally persuaded her to go too the doctor's. She got the test results back today & she's got ovarian cancer." Gibbs says

"What's going to happen; & how do you feel?" Tony answers

"She goes back to the hospital tomorrow to find out. We know she has to have an operation to remove the cancer, then it will be chemotherapy & radiotherapy. We've not told Stephen yet; as I want to get a clearer picture of things before we do. I'm scared boss not only for myself, as in the last year or so I've come to realize that I think I'm in love with her; & could lose her without her knowing. I'm also scared for Stephen because he's already lost one mother; & Josie has been such a great mother too him. So I know how hard it will be for him to lose another one. I also know in many ways how he's going too be feeling, because he's the same age as I was when I lost my mother too it. I also know that I've got too be strong for the both of them, but I honestly don't know if I can do it."

"I can see that you're still in shock, & that you need to find out what's going too be happening. I know you Tony & you can be strong enough to get through all this. The main thing you need to remember is that things nowadays are so much different from what they were when our mothers had this dreadful disease; & she's got more of a chance than they ever did. Have whatever personal time you need, & even if you end up having to come & see me at the Navy Yard, remember that I will be here for you. I will also be here for Stephen if you'd like me too be, & take him off your hands; so you both can take a break. Because whether something happens relationship wise or not, you will probably find you need it; especially in the breaks between treatments. Over being in love with her, for now just keep quiet; but if you feel that the time is right, be open & honest with her. Just prove to her that you can be there & strong enough for her. Either call me or come over later on when you're done at the hospital; as I would like to know how things go, & I do promise too be here for you whenever you need it."

"Thanks boss, I'd better get going in case either Josie or Stephen have woken up; & wonder where I've disappeared too." Gibbs asks him

"What about Bishop & McGee; what do you want me to say too them?" Tony answers

"I hate to ask this, but can you keep this quiet for now? If I come over when we've finished at the hospital, I may tell McGee as I feel I ought too. With Bishop I'm not really sure yet; as I don't know how much Josie wants to reveal. Although in a way I'm hoping that she will let us all in, because she's not got any family around her, as she's never known who her father is. Then her mother had the same cancer, then she went into remission; but in the end it came back as breast cancer a few years ago & she sadly passed away. I know it does make things slightly worse with her being a doctor anyway, but I do have a feeling that things with her mum are probably playing in her mind as well."

"I would take things slowly & just introduce everyone when she's ready, but I will meet her at anytime she wants. You know this is only a suggestion, but if you think it will help why not give Rachel a call; as even if you don't end up using her, it might be worth knowing you've got someone to talk too if you need it; & you never know if by any chance Stephen does react badly to things, he might need someone to talk too."

"I'll have a think about it, but I'd better get going."

"Remember I am here for you." Tony puts the glass down & then leaves.

During the drive back to the apartment he finds that he does still feel slightly worried about things, but now that he has told someone; he does now feel a bit easier about it all. When he gets back again he gets himself a drink, then goes to check on Stephen; who is still fast asleep. When he goes into his bedroom, in the darkness he can see two wide eyes looking at him from under the covers. He goes over & puts his drink down on the bedside table & then snaps on the bedside light. As he then gets into bed with her she gets cuddled up too him & lies on his chest, he says

"You ok?" She replies

"I'm fine, where did you go?" He says

"I hope you don't mind, but I went to see Gibbs & told him about what's going on; as I wanted to make sure that I could take some personal time off, so that I can be here with you so you're not going through all this by yourself. He's told me that I can have as much time as I need, but he does also want to meet you & Stephen, but only if you want too of course. He also wants to make sure we update him after the hospital tomorrow, & also asked what we wanted too do about telling the others & if we wanted to tell them everything or not."

"I don't mind. Look if I'm up too it when we've been to the hospital, we can go into the Navy Yard & see them, as I would like to meet them all; after having heard a lot about them all over the years. I know that they'll have to know everything, & I'll leave it up too you to do it when you're ready to tell them. I don't mind Gibbs knowing & if we can tell him somewhere private about what happened at the hospital, I'm happy to tell him."

"I'm sure we'd be able to do that, as long as you're sure you'll be up too it."

"I'm sure I will be, but I promise you I'll soon tell you if I'm not." They then go quiet for a minute or two, then all of a sudden she says

"Thank you." He asks her

"For what?" She answers

"For being here with me, & making me so very determined that I'm going to beat this." He kisses the top of her head & says

"& I know that you can do it, & I will always be here for you no matter what happens." They then end up with the both of them closing their eyes & the days events finally catch up with them. & they end up falling asleep.

 **A/N: I hope that you all enjoy this new story from me, as I am still loving writing these, even if I am still very much learning about what the writing I am doing! So please enjoy this new story! Xxx. :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Friends, Lovers, Family & Secrets.**

 **Chapter 2.**

In the end because of them both being so shattered from all of the events, the two of them sleep together cuddled up all night. Tony wakes up first and because Josie is still so fast asleep he very carefully untangles her from him. He then goes to wake Stephen up, has a shower, dresses, gets Stephen some breakfast and then takes him to school. When he gets back home once again, he sorts out some breakfast for himself and Josie. Once it's ready he takes it through, wakes her up and they then have it in bed together. After having breakfast she has a shower and dresses, before they then head for the hospital.

At the hospital they get told that she has an early stage three tumor, & that it is just in the one ovary. It will still mean a full hysterectomy, but there may also be a chance that they can remove just the ovaries and fallopian tubes, but leave her womb intact, so she would have to decide about having her eggs frozen and having IVF later on if she does want to have children. Ideally she would have to make the decision within the next couple of days, because that is when they wanted to operate. After that it would be a six to eight weeks intense chemotherapy course, then possibly radiotherapy dependent on what the test results show when the chemotherapy ends. Of course because of her history, if she decides on keeping her womb they'd be keeping a close eye on that & other areas in case of a recurrence there. The good news from the appointment is that they do get Tony put down as her partner, but she's also pleased that he keeps hold of her hand throughout it all. Not only that because of her trying to take everything in; she goes completely blank on questions to ask, but he does manage to ask some important ones that need to be answered.

As they leave the doctors office and walk down the corridor they still keep holding hands. As they turn the corner they run into Rachel Cranston, as she sees Tony she says

"Hello Tony."

He replies "Hi Rachel. Josie this is doctor Rachel Cranston, Rachel this is Josie." The two of them shake hands and Rachel then says

"It's nice to meet you."

"& you too." Rachel then says

"I hope things are ok?"

Tony replies "They are thank you."

Josie then adds "It's ok Tony, we can tell her; as long as we can do it in private."

He then asks her "As long as you're sure?"

She answers "I'm very sure."

Rachel says "As long as you don't mind, the best place might be in the office."

Josie answers "Of course I don't mind." All of them then head to Rachel's office, on the way in she gets coffees sorted out for them. Then as they go into the office she offers them seats in her own private area, so that they might perhaps be a little more comfortable. As the two of them sit down she says to them that she doesn't want them to feel like they're having a proper consultation either. As she then sits down to join them she says

"So what is it?"

Josie replies "I was feeling unwell, so I've had some tests. We've just had the results back & we've just found out that I've got ovarian cancer."

Rachel then says "I don't want you to feel like I'm doing my job, but how do you feel?"

Josie answers her "Slightly better than when I got the original diagnosis yesterday, as it did come as a big shock. I know that I'm determined to beat this; & yes it's going too be a big hard slog. As well as of course quite a few decisions too make. So I do slightly feel like my head is going to blow up. I'm just glad that Tony was there with me today, as he managed to ask some of the questions I probably would've wanted to ask, but I couldn't think of them; because of my brain being so full."

Rachel says"I know that you've or will be most probably assigned a counselor, but I would like too be here for you all either professionally or just as a friend; so I will be here for you at anytime you need me. & yes Tony that does include being here for you too, as I do know what you can be like over talking."

He replies "I promise I will come and talk too you if I feel that I really need too."

Rachel says "I hope you will do, & not just bottle things up."

Josie then says "& what about Stephen if we feel that he needs it?"

Rachel asks "Who's Stephen?"

Tony answers "It's a bit of a long story, but to shorten it slightly he's nine nearly ten years old, & he's my son."

Rachel asks in surprise "Not with you two surely? I didn't think you'd known each other that long?"

Tony replies "That's the long story part, he was the result of my undercover assignment with Jeanne Benoit and Josie is his godmother. Unfortunately Jeanne & her husband were killed in a car crash, so Josie got in touch and told me the news; so I've had the chance to get to know my son.

Rachel says "Of course I will be here for him as well, as you both will most probably find that after losing his mother; when you tell him the news it might hit him very hard, & if by any chance he's anything like his father can be with bottling things up, it might take a more natural person to get things out of him. As long as I can do it of course, I am happy to either come to the house, see you here or anywhere else that you choose. Even if I can't get to the phone give me a call & leave a message, & I promise that I will get back too you as soon as I can."

Tony then says "Thanks Rachel, we'd better get going as we're going to call in at the Navy Yard, as I'm taking some personal leave. Then we'd better head home to get some rest; before I go & get Stephen from school and tell him the news."

Rachel says "Good luck and remember that I am here for you." They all then hug, then Tony and Josie leave.

As they go to the Navy Yard they both remain quiet, which even though the talk with Rachel has cleared their heads slightly they've still got some things rolling around. After pulling into his parking space, but before they both get out of the car he takes her hand & says

"Are you sure you want too do this, & not go home and have a rest first?"

She replies "I'm sure, I promise I'll have a rest later on." They then get out of the car and as they walk towards the building, he once again takes her hand. As they go in Tony gets her temporary ID sorted out, then he tells the guard that they'll be ok without an escort, because he'll be looking after her. They then get into the elevator and go up to the floor they need; as they then get out when it gets there he says

"Welcome to NCIS." As they then head towards the bullpen he once again takes her hand, which this time she does find a bit reassuring as she all of a sudden finds that she's feeling very nervous. Especially at the prospect of meeting Gibbs, not only from what Tony has told her about everyone over the years, but also from both what Jeanne told her & from what she also got told from working in various service hospitals. As they approach everyone is there doing paperwork, Ellie is the first to see them & says

"Hi Tony."

He replies "Hi Bishop, I'd like you to meet Josie, Josie this is Ellie Bishop. They shake hands and say

"Pleased to meet you." Then he does the same with McGee, & finally as they head towards Gibbs desk, he comes out from behind it as Tony says

"& this is the boss Gibbs." They also shake hands, then after doing the "Nice to meet you." He then tells Tony to sort out whatever stuff he needs to done, & he would give Josie a tour.

All he does of course is take her to the conference room, as he gets her to take a seat he says

"Would you like a coffee or something?"

She answers "I'm ok thanks, just a water will do I think; as at the moment I'm sort of feeling that I've got coffee coming out of my ears after this morning."

He then asks "So how did it go?"

She replies "A bit better than I thought it would, as they're saying I've got an early stage three tumor, & from what the other doctor said when he gave me the original diagnosis I thought it was going too be a later stage. So I'm breathing a slight sigh of relief because my mum was stage four. So now it's a hysterectomy and chemotherapy, then radiotherapy will be dependent on what the final tests show when the chemotherapy ends." He then takes her hand and says

"I hope that everything goes ok for you, I really do. As you are apart of the family so to speak, remember that I'm here for you; & so will be the others when you tell them & feel you can. So please shout if you need anything."

She replies "I will do, I promise. Although there may be something I'd like you too do if you could?"

He asks "What's that?"

She answers "Obviously we don't know yet when I have the operation in a couple of days, if Stephen will be at the hospital with Tony. & I do want it too be either Tony or the both of them before & after things to be with me. But as long as a case or something doesn't come in of course, while I'm having the operation; can you please try to drag them away and get them doing something, as long as it's close by of course."

He replies "I promise I will try, but if Tony decides too be stubborn then all I can do is just be there with him."

She says "Thank you, as I know that he'll want too be there & everything, but I don't want too be worrying too much about him and Stephen; even though I know that I probably will be."

He replies "& I can understand that, but I have a feeling that he's only doing it because he loves you, even if he won't admit it."

"I have that feeling as well, & I love him too. It's just that I don't know how to tell him, because I'm scared he'll get hurt if anything bad happens, even if I am determined to beat this. Plus at the appointment I was given the option of freezing my eggs; because they could leave my womb and I can still have the chance of having kids. There's a chance that it might not happen though and they will still have to remove, but I may also make the decision to remove as well; however hard it may be. Because with my history with my Mum I know there's a chance it could come back somewhere else later on. I don't want to disappoint him if he wants kids, even if we have got Stephen. Nor do I want to put him all through this again if by any chance it does come back again. Then of course we both have Stephen to think about, & I don't want to see him hurt either. As in a way I would understand what he would be going through, even if I did make sure that they maintained their relationship. Because other than when she remarried when I was five, & it only lasted five years. My mum lied to me, as she told me that this man was my father and that they'd got back together again to make another go of things; but later on she admitted the truth that he wasn't my father. She never did tell me the truth though as to who my father was, & she never put it on my birth certificate either. I suppose if I'm honest I've been in love with Tony ever since he helped me with my ex, & it started coming on more strongly when we moved here. Most of all though I really love him as a best friend in my life & I don't want too ever lose that or him." She breaks down and Gibbs hugs her, he then says

"It may be a thing that you have to see Rachel about, but if it will make any decisions easier about if you have kids or not; isn't there some genetic tests that you can get done? I know that they probably insist on a certain period of time for counseling and things, but with the urgency of your case if you go too her she might be able to get it done so that you can know. Over Tony try and let him in, he does really love you and you may be surprised at how strong he can be, & he will stand by you no matter what. You've done a great job with Stephen, let Tony take some of the slack with him; as well as concentrate on yourself and the fight you've got coming. If he needs help with anything, we're all for him; & I promise that if anything bad happens, which it won't happen I would look after them both for you."

She replies "Thank you." They hug once again & he says

"We'd better get back, otherwise he'll be sending out a search party before long." Just as they walk out Abby comes along looking for Gibbs, when she sees them she stops in her tracks and says

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize that you were with someone."

He replies "It's ok, Abby this is Josie a friend of Tony's." Abby hugs her and says

"It's great to meet you." They then head to the lab. While Abby talks to Gibbs about some evidence she's got, Josie starts to study some DNA results she has on screen; so as Abby and Gibbs finish talking she says

"What's this Abby?"

She replies "It's the DNA of our suspect, I can see that it matches; but the computer keeps throwing out that it isn't one."

Josie then says "I might be able to help you, have you got the medical records?"

Abby replies "I have, what is it?"

Josie tells her "I'm a doctor, but before I got Stephen and gave the job up I was a researcher into DNA and had been working on reactions that some diseases can have on it; so I might be able to help you sort this out."

Gibbs then says "I'll leave you too it, & I'll let Tony know what you're up too."

When Gibbs gets back he finds Tony and McGee standing out of the way under the stairs, as Tony has plucked up the courage to tell him about Stephen and also what is going on with Josie. As Tony sees Gibbs alone he says

"Everything ok?"

Gibbs replies "Yeah, I've left Josie with Abby as she's helping her with a DNA thing."

Tony then says "That was her thing before she gave up work for Stephen, apparently it was Jeanne that got her too do it. That's what partly scares me about all this, as I know that she's kept her hand in with a lot of all this, so she does have an idea of what is going on."

Gibbs says "That's why they always say that doctors make the worst patients, because they know what's going on too much. Saying that as we did talk she did admit that she was worrying about the kids thing, so I did suggest that she went to Rachel to see if she could sort out getting the genetic test done to see if she carried the gene that made her more susceptible to things; as it could put her mind a bit more at rest over it."

Tony replies "Thanks boss, as I know that she did have it playing in her mind, & I was struggling about how to get round that one."

Gibbs says "That's ok. Just remember that we're all here to help you & Stephen through all this, as well as Josie; all of you aren't alone in this. I know that you do love her Tony, & I know that she also loves you very much; she's just scared of admitting it too you because she's scared about you being hurt. You just need to show her that you do feel the same way, & that you can love each other."

Tony replies "I'm hoping that I might be able to get her too talk later on. I think that a lot of it is yet again is the being a doctor problem coming into it, because she knows how sick she possibly could get with treatment, & she doesn't want to put that on me so to speak. I don't care about that though; I just want to love and support her through all of this, no matter how hard it gets."

Gibbs tells him "& that's what you need to convince her of."

Tony then says "Saying that I'd better go & rescue her from Abby before she starts to get to carried away with things, as I know that she'll be crashing out before too long." He then walks off and leaves them.

As Tony gets to the lab, even though he knows he shouldn't do it, because of hearing the two of them talking he does a Gibbs & stands out of the way so they don't see him & he listens to them. From what he can gather he can guess that she's told Abby about being I'll & also about Stephen. Abby then says

"So if you love Tony, why won't you let him in?"

She replies "It's because I'm scared of just starting out when I'm sick, & how much pressure we're going to be under. Even if we do know each other so well, & I have loved him for a very long time now, which makes me wish that I'd told him something earlier. I suppose I'm also scared of losing him as my best friend if anything went wrong, because he's been my real rock at times, as he got me through losing my mum to this disease. Then of course helped in such a big way when I had trouble with my ex. I also worry that if things went wrong how it would effect things with he & Stephen, even if I know that I certainly wouldn't do anything to upset things or take him away from Tony. There's also the having kids thing, as I may not be able to have them; especially if I decide on having everything removed, plus of course if I didn't & there was a chance of having kids, it would be in a non natural way. Most of all I'm scared that if I don't beat this, even if I am so very determined that I will do so; how hurt he could end up being, as well as of course having to handle me being so very ill." He then decides that he's going to take the bull by the horns and says as he walks in making them both jump "I love you Josie." With her feeling emotional anyway, & then seeing in his eyes how emotional he also is when he gets close enough too her, she breaks down. As soon as he gets too her he kisses her lightly on the lips and repeats "I do really love you Jose." He then envelopes her in a hug and puts his chin on her head. As they stand there like that, Abby sneaks away.

Once she settles he takes her hand and they end up sitting on the floor together with their backs against the fridge, he keeps hold of her hand, while she lies the side of her face on his shoulder. Eventually she says quietly

"I love you so much."

He replies "& love you too."

She then asks "Are you really sure we can do this?"

He answers "I'm very sure, I've been in love with you for a very long time. If you're ex hadn't got in there first, then I was going to admit it."

She says "& I wish that you had got in there first, but you know how I feel about that part of my life, so I'm not going to go over that again. I think it was coming here and all the help you gave us then, that made me start to fall in love with you. I just wish that I'd told you sooner, then we wouldn't have had to contend with all this."

He replies "I know, but we're not going to let this beat us. I know that this is a bit backwards, but I am here by your side in sickness and in health; & one day I want us to be able to say those words too each other by each others sides with you fit and healthy. Yes it's going to get tough, but I'm ready for this. Just promise me that you won't ever hide anything from me again, & whatever happens you will always tell me."

She says "I promise I won't ever hide anything again, & I will always tell you anything. It's the same for you with me though, so please don't ever hide anything from me. Not only that if anything happens during all of this that you might feel strange about; then please tell me. I know that I've still got a certain decision to make, but if I do decide on keeping things & obviously when I get the all clear, we won't be able to have kids in the normal way; & I don't want you to feel strange about it."

"If we do have kids and it's in a different way, I don't care. Look you know what I did years ago, which I never even told Jeanne about. Even if in a way it's the same as it was back then; this time I'm doing it for the woman I really love and not for complete strangers. If you do also decide that you have to get rid of everything, then I promise you that we can think about adoption. As even if we say went down the road of say surrogacy and even though the baby would still be ours; I think that would possibly be too strange. We've got Stephen and you're such a great mother too him, & I know that however we end up possibly having more; you would be a great mother too all our family."'

She says " Talking of Stephen, how are we going to tackle all of this with him?"

He answers "I think we should stick with the plan & I'll take him to Gibbs to tell him about the cancer, then if he takes it reasonably ok; we'll then tell him tonight. Then perhaps if you feel up too it, let's have a family celebration for us the night before you go into hospital, as that way you've then got something good to think about."

"That's a good idea. Ok so as we're going too do this, Gibbs did suggest that I called Rachel to see if I could get the test done for the genes thing, too see if I'm a carrier of the one which can heighten the chance of having the same cancer or breast cancer, as well as the one that says about the chances of it coming back again. I think I'd like to see if we can possibly get it done before I have the operation and hopefully make the decision a bit easier, but also for us to be able to make it together as well. The only thing is I can feel that I'm starting to flag and I really need to crash when we get home; so would you mind doing the call for me? Seeing as I think I'd like to have some reassurance as well that if we do have our own children, I won't end up passing anything on to any girls that we might possibly have."

He answers "Of course I don't mind doing it, & I will be there for you when you talk to her, for the test itself and when you get the results; as I do really mean it, I am here by your side through thick and thin." While keeping hold of her hand still he then gets up and pulls her up, once she's on her feet he hugs her. Then he does a gentle kiss on her lips, she responds to it and they kiss for the first time. As they do so the emotions start getting to her and the tears slowly come; when he notices it and they break apart, as they do so he then gently wipes them away with his thumb, he then says

"I hope these are happy tears?"

She quietly nods and answers "They are, as you don't know how long I've been waiting for that to happen." As he tips her face up to look at him he says

"Probably for just as long as I've been waiting." They then kiss once again, before he takes her hand and says

"Come on lets get you home." As she then does a mischievous smile and bites her lip he jokingly says

"Oh Lord, what have I let myself in for?" He then does a delicate pull on her hand, they then walk out with a big smile on their faces and leave.

She ends up being right about needing to crash out, as she ends up falling asleep during the journey home. As she's so sound asleep Tony doesn't want to wake her, so as soon as he parks the car, he gets out and then goes round to open the passenger door, he releases her from the seatbelt and carries her into the apartment. Once they get inside he gently puts her down on the sofa, as she stirs slightly, he kneels down on the floor next to her and he gently strokes her face and quietly says

"It's ok we're home, go back to sleep again." As she turns round to face him, but with her eyes still shut she sleepily says

"I love you Tony." He then gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek and says

"& I love you too." As she falls into a deep sleep again she has a big smile on her face.

While she's asleep he does the call to Rachel, & she tells him that she will look into things & see what she can do. If he gives her a call when he leaves Gibbs later on, she would aim to get to the apartment at the same time as him; & then she'd let them know what she'd managed to find out. When they end the call he then writes Josie a note saying that he's called Rachel and that he's just popped out to get something for them for lunch. He's done it just in case she wakes up while he's still out & wonders where he is.

By the time he gets back again she has woken up and is having a shower to freshen up, so after putting everything down in the kitchen he goes & stands just inside the bathroom doorway & says

"Hi, you ok?" She then pokes her head round the shower door and says

"I'm fine thanks, but I did really need that rest."

He replies "Well you certainly did look like you needed it. Do you think that you might be ready for something to eat?"

She answers "I think I am, thank you. I'm just going to get dry and I'll be right with you." As she turns to shut the shower off he goes & grabs a towel off the towel rail, he then goes over too her, puts it round her and then scoops her up and carries her into the bedroom. After putting her down on the side of the bed and then starts to gently dry her. When he's done that he tells her to lie face down on the bed, as she does so he starts to massage her neck and back. As he's doing it she all of a sudden lets out a big sigh and says

"Wow! Thanks this is so good."

He replies "Well you certainly feel like you need it, as you've got some good knots there. Which isn't surprising really, with everything that's going on at the moment."

She says "I know, but at least I've got a couple of things off my mind now." As he lies down next to her, he carries on massaging her neck and back, he says

"& I'm glad that we have admitted things & got ourselves sorted out, because I do really love you."

"& I love you too." They then kiss, but that's as far as it goes because he leaves her to get dressed while he goes to get them some lunch sorted out.

When she comes out she goes & joins him in the kitchen, he then presents her with two bunches of flowers, as he hands them to her he says

"One of these are from me, & the other one is from Abby to say thank you for the help today."

She says "Thank you they're both beautiful." As she takes them off him and has a closer look at them she all of a sudden smiles and puts the ones in her left hand down, she then says about the ones left in her right hand

"I bet these ones are the ones from you, because I can see that you've remembered that I love yellow roses. I bet that you've not got anything I can put all these in though?"

He answers "Well that is where you're wrong, seeing as I guessed that you'd be after something, I just hope that these will be ok?" He then opens the cupboard he's standing next too & produces some vases, she then puts the bunch in her hand down and goes round to have a look at them, she then gives him a kiss and says

"They'll be perfect, thank you." As he then finishes off sorting out the lunch, she sorts the flowers out into the vases and starts to put them around the place.

 **A/N: I hope that you enjoy this new chapter, there was originally going to be a bit more with having the telling Stephen about her being ill, but then thought that the chapter would then end up going on forever if I did that! So that will happen next one! I just hope that the way this chapter ends isn't too strange! I also know that with some of the medical stuff it might be wrong, but I'm just going on what happened quite a few years ago to a friend of mine having been given this option and her taking it & who now has two gorgeous children who I am godmother to. It had also been my intention to bring Josie & Tony together, but it was going too be a bit later on, but somehow as I was writing this chapter it seemed to have been a bit more fitting to make it happen now. Anyway as I say I hope you enjoy it and thank you for all the reviews etc, & please keep doing so! Xxx. :-)**


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